Blog Post - Amy Rose
Surviving SZA: A Personal Timeline
My name is Amy Rose. I have a technical background and formerly worked in project management. I was born in Australia and moved to New York City as a child, where I’ve lived most of my life.
In 2020, my mental health collapsed. I was later diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder—a condition that includes symptoms of psychosis, depression, and mood instability. This is a concise account of what happened, how I managed it, and where I am now.
🌀 Onset and Prodrome
By September 2020, I was likely in the prodromal phase. I exhibited symptoms of mania, including impulsive behavior, excessive spending, and compulsive changes to my living space. I spent excessive money on indoor plants. Over the next two years, I depleted nearly all my savings, including my retirement funds.
During that time, I left my job, ended a long-term relationship, and relocated from New York to Florida. The key contributing factors to my episode were:
Heavy prescription cannabis use
Prescription stimulants for ADHD
High levels of stress (career, relationship, relocation)
The onset of psychosis was rapid and severe. I remained in an altered mental state for close to two years.
🏥 Hospitalizations
My first hospitalization occurred in Florida in 2022. I was deeply psychotic and unaware of what was happening. I was administered Haldol via injection without much explanation and spent very little time with medical providers. No diagnosis was discussed during this stay.
In 2023, I was hospitalized again in New York City. By this point, I had accepted the possibility that I was experiencing a serious psychiatric condition. I was able to choose the facility, retain access to my phone, and receive visitors. This hospitalization was far more stabilizing. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder shortly afterward.
😵💫 Psychosis Details
Symptoms included:
Grandiose delusions (believing I was part of a classified government program)
Religious delusions (believing I had sold my soul)
Paranoia and disorganized thinking
Extended periods of hallucinations (visual and auditory)
I had multiple episodes of sitting for hours in a single location, fully immersed in hallucinations. On one occasion, I stayed on a balcony for so long that I sunburned half my face.
The psychosis eventually turned darker. I experienced extreme despair and attempted suicide twice. Reestablishing contact with a close friend helped me begin to reality-check. I returned to New York shortly afterward.
🔧 Recovery and Employment
Recovery was non-linear and slow. I began working as a petsitter through Rover.com, which offered flexible hours and reduced cognitive demands. I recommend it for others navigating early recovery.
Later, I transitioned to full-time work as a peer specialist, supporting others who live with serious mental illness. I also run structured support groups via Discord, offering peer-based spaces for people with schizoaffective disorder and related diagnoses.
🧠 Current Status
I currently work in mental health peer services and maintain a stable relationship with an experienced care team. I’ve also encountered underqualified or dismissive doctors, particularly in early stages, which significantly delayed proper treatment.
I no longer use prescription stimulants and have successfully weaned off benzodiazepines—one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I continue to follow a harm reduction approach to substance use.
I manage my condition with structured routines, symptom tracking, and peer connection. Schizoaffective disorder is a lifelong condition. It relapses. It requires long-term maintenance.
💻 Why I Built This Website
After my diagnosis, I was frustrated by the lack of clear, practical resources for schizoaffective disorder—especially from people with lived experience. SurvivingSZA exists to fill that gap.
This site is a practical guide created by someone who’s been through it, designed to offer tools, structure, and community for others navigating life with SZA.
