After an Episode

Re-entry, recovery, and rebuilding when everything’s a mess.

You survived. But now you’re left with the pieces.

After an episode—whether manic, depressive, psychotic, mixed, or catatonic—there’s often a hollow space. You might feel ashamed, numb, disoriented, or fragile. You might not even remember parts of what happened.

This chapter is about how to exist in that space, and how to start putting your life back together—slowly, gently, without pressure.

🔹 What “After” Feels Like

• Regret over what you said or did

• Exhaustion that doesn’t go away

• Shame over needing help

• Grief for the time you lost

• Confusion about what was real

• Fear of it happening again

• A vulnerability hangover—that sick, shaky feeling after being raw, exposed, or seen in crisis

Even if no one else understands, you know how hard it was.
You’re allowed to feel raw. You’re allowed to take your time.

🔹 Ground First, Analyze Later

Don’t rush into explanations, labels, or planning.
The first thing is to stabilize.

Start with:

• Sleeping and eating regularly

• Reconnecting with one person

• Returning to your meds, if you take them

• Taking time off, if that’s an option

• Letting your body rest

You don’t have to “figure it all out.” You just have to get back in your body.

🔹 Clean Up With Compassion

After an episode, you may be left with damage—emotional, relational, financial, physical. It can feel overwhelming.

Try to:

• Apologize where it’s needed, but don’t over-explain

• Ask for help, especially with logistics or repairs

• Clean one thing—a text thread, a floor, a to-do list

• Forgive your past self for trying to survive in the only way they could

🔹 Know Your Patterns

Once things are calmer, you can reflect:

• What were your early warning signs?

• What triggered this episode?

• What helped you through it?

• What might you do differently next time?

This is not to shame yourself. It’s to build awareness.
Write it down. Add it to your safety plan. Let future-you benefit from what you’ve learned.

🔹 Let People Back In (If You Want To)

Episodes can push people away. That’s normal.
But connection can also be part of the healing.

You don’t have to explain everything. You don’t have to be cheerful or put-together.
You can say:

• “I just went through something intense. I’m still recovering.”

• “I don’t want to talk about it, but I want to feel close again.”

• “Thanks for still being here.”

Let them meet you where you are.